I recently discovered this poem. Musings follow.
I’m Not a Man
Harold Norse (Hidden Transcripts, page 133, copied from here)
I’m not a man. I can’t earn a living, buy new things for my family. I have acne and a small peter.
I’m not a man. I don’t like football, boxing or cars. I like to express my feelings. I even like to put an arm around my friend’s shoulder.
I’m not a man. I won’t play the role assigned to me—the role created by Madison Avenue, Playboy, Hollywood and Oliver Cromwell. Television does not dictate my behavior.
I’m not a man. Once when I shot a squirrel I swore that I would never kill again. I gave up meat. The sight of blood makes me sick. I like flowers.
I’m not a man. I went to prison resisting the draft. I do not fight when real men beat me up and call me queer. I dislike violence.
I’m not a man. I have never raped a woman. I don’t hate blacks. I do not get emotional when the flag is waved. I do not think I should love America or leave it. I think I should laugh at it.
I’m not a man. I have never had the clap.
I’m not a man. Playboy is not my favorite magazine.
I’m not a man. I cry when I’m unhappy.
I’m not a man. I do not feel superior to women.
I’m not a man. I don’t wear a jockstrap.
I’m not a man. I write poetry.
I’m not a man. I meditate on peace and love.
I’m not a man. I don’t want to destroy you.
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I’ve encountered similar anti-masculine sentiments from other pro-feminist men. Just look at the list of John Stoltenberg’s works from Wikipedia:
Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice
Why I Stopped Trying to be a Real Man
The End of Manhood: A Book for Men of Conscience
This ties in well with the feminist notions that that gender can be decoupled from sex, giving men an opportunity to abandon their destructive masculinities and that this–male gender empowerment–is called “feminism”. I agree with both of these notions on some level, but something about this scenario feels odd to me.
When was it decided that masculinity is rape, racism, promiscuity, STDs, money, violence, and destruction? It may be that these are traits historically tied to men, but is this really the way we want to construct gender?
Sarah told me about her mother’s dissertation work, which was focused on medieval peasantry. Turns out women owned lots of land and business back then. What does it say about them that we assign “the money thing” to masculinity?
Or is the point to construct masculinity and femininity as loathesome, limiting things that no one would want to be in order to to do away with gender entirely?
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Maybe we should just make like David Neiwert and construct new, positive, overlapping definitions of what masculinity and femininity are until they blend together into one awesome mess.