Monthly Archive for May, 2009

With addictive behavior, I usually have one chance where I feel like I have a genuine choice between giving in to compulsion and listening to my body and taking care of it.  If I choose the compulsive behavior, those decision points get more and more difficult.  Often that first choice is my only real shot at staying clean.  This is why moderation doesn’t work for addicts.  Because you feel like you have a choice that first time, but once the drug is in your veins, you lose control.

There is sometimes one final emergency exit, however.  Sometimes after that first “hit” I can realize that I haven’t strayed into “binge” territory yet, that I’m still within the realm of moderation and “normal” behaviors, and I can stop at that point.

But the odds go way down.